Danny Lundgren is playing the SuperBowl pool. Danny Lundgren that is a very scary thought – come on think about it, no wait on second thought don’t.

Apparently Crystal has been seeking relationship advice from Kimmy G. --- need I say more.

We all got a little taste of Jay’s newest hot dance move at the last monthly meeting – according to sources he is looking at becoming a backup dancer – hopefully for JT.

Doug M has quite the collection of paperclips in his desk; he figures if one guy can trade one red paperclip for a house…he can make millions with a drawer full of them. You should ask him to send you some BUT be aware he is a little possessive about his paperclips – it is his retirement fund after all.

Gord has taken up a new hobby – glass eating! Apparently, he needs to practice a little more.

Crystal is offering tips on how to get a date.

After the performance at last month main meeting, Lundgren is now writing songs for the Apex band.

The newspaper thief at head office has been identified (for more details please contact Crystal or Dan P).

Someone is looking to sell an 80 GB iPod that they picked-up for a great deal.

That the real reason Kim Green wants to join the RCMP is because it is a great excuse for frisking men.

After the main meeting, that it was announced Doug McLean would be taking steps to restructure his writing department.

Ed Klick will be installing a new sensor on the water bottle at head office. If you empty the bottle and step away from the dispenser the security alarm will be tripped.

Due to the increase in science experiments begin conducted at work, the company of KG & DP is now strictly patrolling the head office fridge. If you do not label your lunch or food placed in the fridge, it will be disposed of.

It seems that Joseph is so quiet around the office; Crystal didn’t know that Joseph has been away for a week.

I have heard that Kit O’Kane gives incredible massages. Please contact him directly if you wish to make an appointment.

Rumour has it that there is a bit of confusion as to the true colour of Dan Perrett’s newest vehicle. Currently, most of the suggestions are various shades of purple.

Since Doug’s mishap with the ladder, I felt it was important for everyone to take a serious look at the warnings on common foods, medicines, equipment, etc:

Warning Labels

Curling iron – ‘For external use only’
Electric rotary tool – ‘This product is not intended for use as a dental drill’
Wheelbarrow – ‘Not intended for highway use’
Toilet brush – ‘Do not use orally’
Manual for a microwave oven – ‘Do not use for drying pets’
Box of rat poison – ‘Has been found to cause cancer is laboratory mice’
Bottle of sleeping pills – ‘Warning; may cause drowsiness’
Washing machine – ‘No small children’
Baby stroller – ‘Remove child before folding’
Scooter – ‘This product moves when used’
Hairdryer – ‘Do not use while sleeping’
Fire logs – ‘Warning – risk of fire!’
Toilet plunger – ‘Do not use near power lines’
Hair dye – ‘Do not use as an ice cream topping’
Foaming face wash – ‘May contain foam’
Mattress – ‘Do not attempt to swallow’
Matches – ‘Caution – may catch fire’
Road Sign – ‘Caution – water on the road during rain’
Disposable razor – ‘Do not use this product during an earthquake’
Toilet at sports facility – ‘Recycled flush water, unsafe for drinking’
Container of salt – ‘Warning – high is sodium’

April 19, 2007 – Canucks Game!

Quite a few Apex Employees took advantage of the Boston Pizza deal and had a great time on the Party Bus and at the Canucks game.

Some people were able to get a picture with Tamara Taggart and apparently she just HAD to have her picture taken with Jay L. (as per an email that was sent) —who knew Jay was famous.

I must say that I was very surprised to find out that apparently Kimmy G. is not the loudest member in her family.

GUIDELINES YOU SHOULD FOLLOW TO BUILD A CAREER

In the wireless industry, it is not an insult to be an…

ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

Better than being known as…

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located."

Or known for…

ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

When a customer comes in for service, we suggest you find an alternative to…

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

We hope you do not have a…

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

That may have been caused by…

OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Or…

CLM - (Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

You won’t get anywhere if you are a…

STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny

It can lead to…

GOING POSTAL - Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages

Or you could become a…

FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.